He rubbed his hands together just before we reached the gates of the White House. I stopped the car right in front of the security shack and Obama got out and with that mortician's smile and asked if Hillary was home.
The guard smiled back and appeared to be having a cup of hot tea or something but he rose anyway and rubbed down Obama to make sure he wasn't packing a pistol like he did last time.
She's in the basement Barack and trust me "she doesn't want to see your poor ass" and the guard smiled and went back into the White House guard shack and closed the door.
"I got a bellyful of that bitch!" Barack looked around at his pals Toomey and Casey in the car peering out and above their hiding places of blankets and pillows.
Almost hopefully Barack wished that Toomey and Casey could get him in the White House but the pieces of their past kept them away from the president.
Barack looked around the parking lot for a rock that he could throw at the White House but the workers kept most of them picked up half-expecting Barack would want one to throw.
Toomey and Casey warned Barack that once he was out he was out for good so the White House gates would always be guarded and locked to keep him out.
Barack kicked the no trespassers sign and got back into the car with the boys. He wanted a dark Hershey bar with almonds but the boys had run out of their food stamps cash so he took another mouth full of beer and sniffed and snarled at the security guard before he shut the car door.
Barack noticed that the gate was being unlocked for some black ass communist and being allowed inside the forbidden land of Hillary Clinton and her White House.
As the gate creaked opened he noticed it was than damn Van Jones from CNN for another interview. Barack looked again at the barbed wire, armed guards, attack dogs and Van Jones and felt like a fish on the sand.
Barack was poverty stricken because nobody would hire him because he kind-of got fired from President when they mined out his school records and birth certificate. Being president was a hell hole anyway with the I.R.S., N.S.A., and that damn Benghazi problem all over Fox News. His palmed itched for cash money but no job and his unemployment was about spent out he thought about the devil a lot.
He blamed those native Tea Party nuts that busted up his racket and smuggled in his school records and such things. That bitch Hillary got elected even though she got caught smoking camel's and once in a while slip into another girl.
Barack looked for greener grass but his road was muddy and even the brothers left him to starve.
Without arousing suspicion he pulled out his last big rock from his pants pocket and was searching for a target when the white boss came over and told Barack "Dude, move your car."
Barack told the guy to drive on and noticed the 70 or so Negro diggers working in Michelle's old garden. Working with the sludge of cow shit it smelled like home.
Shovelfuls of cow shift surrounding the White House, I guess there's no place like home.
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