Sitting on the roadside with his pants legs rolled up Bill Clinton needed a shave and a bath badly so he was hoping for a ride. Bill Clinton thought he would sit down on the side of the road and catch his breath as he glanced down and noticed his shoes were covered in dust and about wore out.
Hillary had given him a sack of food before she kicked his ass out so he opened it up and noticed that she gave him an onion sandwich and a pack of peanuts. Bitch.
Bill Clinton had been roaming around for a few days and had become a regular visitor to gas station bathrooms for at least the last one hundred miles. He was heading south trying to get home and away from Washington D.C., the further the better.
Bill Clinton had become unnoticed by Hillary Clinton once the F.B.I. cuffed her ass up for the Top Secret Documents found on their underground secret email computer server.
His plan was to leave town and stay unnoticed so the hot dust on his shoes were really a good sign of miles behind him. Bill Clinton had turned out to be the novelty to gather up crowds for Hillary and little else. She had a white dress and a blue blouse on when the F.B.I. searched her broad ass and cuffed her as her screaming didn't impress them at all.
Without much warning, Bill Clinton jumped to his feet as he noticed a car approaching and he fled to the tree line and hid behind some rocks. He wanted a free ride but it was another National Guard truck, this Marshall Law stuff was getting messy.
His clothes were dusty and he also carried a rank smell and was very disappointed with all his friends that told him to take a hike. He had been left alone and told to hit the road unless he wanted to join Hillary in federal prison.
The crack was like a rifle shot, he was almost sure.
For a few seconds Bill didn't hear anything.
Then came the second crack, it was a rifle shot, then another one.
The National Guard truck had stopped down the road and the soldiers and walked back and had spotted him.
There would be no pity now, President Trump was pissed.
Bill tiptoed back into the woods some more and the darker woods accepted him as he stiffened with every crack of the rifles. Bill could also hear some hunting dogs barking in the distance, that meant bad news.
With some animal like attention Bill Clinton watched the trail below and the Federal National Guard Troops trying to find him. They were well ordered and trained but maybe it was too hot to tramp through the woods today. Bill had propped up against a rock and with little reluctance made no noise, they were that close now.
He could almost feel the air change with human closeness as he turned to his right and saw two soldiers no more than thirty feet away.
I'll be a son-of-a-bitch.
They were not after him after all.
Them Dixie boys had cornered Barack Obama up that chewed up tree only thirty feet away but Bill Clinton decided not to laugh out loud just yet.
That shrewd little bastard was gasping for breath and was hunched over a limb at least twenty feet off the ground. The dogs were barking and the rifle barrels were pointing as Barack Obama looked down upon his legacy. Two Black Guys and Guns.
In good time, over the next few days, Bill Clinton made it back home and closed his eyes laying in a soft clean bed. There was some singing and dancing down the hallway so it was a little hard to sleep at times, but two colds and a hot kept his belly full.
County Jail wasn't too bad and it sure beat prison.
He almost pissed his pants, when he got an onion sandwich for lunch.
No place like home.
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