Glenn Beck and the Glenn Beck Zoo - When Glenn
Beck assumed morning-show duties at KZFM in Corpus Christi, Texas, in 1983, the
zoo model was ascendant. It was the year Scott Shannon moved to New York to
found Z100, where Shannon's "Z Morning Zoo" made the station No. 1 in
the market within three months of its birth. Closer to Beck's new home, John
Lander had just launched what would be a long-running and heavily syndicated
morning zoo on Houston's KKBQ. Being ignored only seems to fuel Beck's hunger for attention. Beck hounds Trump because Trump ignores him. Beck supports Ted Cruz because he's running against Donald Trump. The contest between Cruz and Trump is just another ratings game but Glenn Beck will loose millions of viewers as a result. Fueled by booze and cocaine Beck is now locked inside the Zoo he constructed but wants to play national with America.. enough is enough if any word of this article is true.
Like dozens of
stations launching generic zoos around the country, Beck's first morning show
was titled simply "The Morning Zoo." It wasn't a playbook zoo, as it
lacked an ensemble, but it had a zoo spirit. It was fast-paced and featured
skits and fake characters voiced by Beck. Beck's main cartoon character was
named Clydie Clyde, a Muppet-voiced alter ego who sounds like the love child of
Yoda and Kermit the Frog. Today the descendants of Clyde live on without names.
Beck lapses into voices to imitate anyone he doesn't like, while going
boggly-eyed and waving his hands around like he's slipping on a banana peel.
(Clyde was based on the most widely imitated such character at the time,
"Mr. Leonard" from Shannon's New York Zoo team.)
"Beck's
Corpus show was just him, Clydie Clyde and the news reader," says Tod
Tucker, who hosted the slot following Beck's at KZFM. "He was extremely
talented and he knew it. At first we didn't get along because he was so
arrogant, but we became friends. He always talked about going to New York City
and making it big. That was his dream."
He didn't
advertise it, but at 19 Beck was the youngest morning zoo host and program
director in the country. "At the time I thought he was in his mid- to late
20s," says Barry Kaye, former program director at KITE, a rival station.
"He was an incredible talent to be working at that level at that
age."
"Glenn was a
talented young preppy kid with a bit of an attitude," remembers Meryl
Uranga, a program and music director at KZFM. "I had never smelled clove
cigarettes before I met him. Hanging out with Beck was also the first time I
ever saw certain drugs. He partied a lot."
Along with giving
Beck the space to develop creatively, Corpus Christi offered a crash course in
the business side of radio. As a manager and programmer, Beck was responsible
for tailoring KZFM's appeal to Corpus Christi's complicated market, a diverse
population split between Hispanics, whites, blacks and active military. And
there was enormous pressure to get the formula right. At the time, KZFM was
engaged in a heated ratings war with its rival, KITE.
In the studio, the
early '80s were the age of the zoo. In the back office, they were the age of
federal deregulation. In 1982, the FCC began removing constraints on radio
ownership across a range of areas, from public-service content quotas to filing
requirements. Among the most consequential changes was the revocation of an
"anti-trafficking" rule that barred investors from quick flipping
stations for profit. The result was a radio bubble fueled by a newly feverish
market for properties. To pick just one example from Beck's career, his future
employer WKCI in Connecticut sold for $6 million in 1983. Three years later it
went for $30 million. Between 1982 and 1990, almost half of the country's
stations would change hands at least once.
This new
quick-sell culture affected radio pros in numerous ways. As owners came and
went, experimenting with staff and formulas, turnover rates increased. The
result was a caste of radio gypsies like Beck, who wore signs that declared,
"Have mouth, will travel." Increasingly, DJs did not know where
they'd be at the end of the next Arbitron ratings quarter.
The new economics
of radio also ushered in a new golden age of ratings wars. As station values
and salaries ballooned, so did pressure for top ratings and media attention.
Because morning shows were the biggest and most personality-driven piece of Top
40 programming, rival morning teams in the 1980s fought wars with entertaining,
and occasionally bloody, ferocity. "Some radio people remember the radio
battles of the 1980s for the off-air ugliness in the station parking lot,"
says Sean Ross, who tracks the radio industry for Edison Research.
Beck landed in
Corpus Christi in the middle of an old-style ratings war. He was hired by KZFM
as part of a station-wide blood infusion to replenish a staff that was being
picked apart by KITE. The owner of the station and Beck's new boss was Arnold
Malkan, a conservative Republican and attorney known for his hot temper and
litigiousness. As Malkan hurled legal threats across town, the two stations'
morning teams did battle on the air and off. As often was the case, this war
involved a heavy dose of camp. The military metaphor of a ratings war became
literal when KITE's morning zoo team christened itself the "KITE
Killers" and began attending promotional events dressed in Army surplus
camo fatigues and berets. "They'd roll up to promotional gigs and jump out
of the limo in uniform, waving plastic machine guns," remembers Barry
Kaye, a programmer at the station.
Beck manned the
KZFM war room in his civvies, but had a military bent of mind. His hard-nosed
mentor and recruiter, Jim Sumpter, instructed Beck and his fellow DJs to fight
to win. "Sumpter was one of the most vicious managers I ever competed
against," remembers Chuck Dunaway, a KITE staffer who arrived in Corpus
Christi around the same time as Beck. "Our two stations would have bombed
each other if we could have done it legally."
"Jim Sumpter
was a master at guerrilla war," says Tucker, Beck's fellow DJ at KZFM.
"I like to say that God gave Beck his talent, and Sumpter taught him how
to use it." (Sumpter is now a "Birther" and syndicated
right-wing talk show host.)
The morning
mischief between the rival stations escalated following Beck's arrival in
Corpus. Dunaway recalls early in his tenure showing up to the KITE studio and
finding each of the station's front doors -- the only exit in a converted
storefront building -- glued shut. A demolition crew had to knock the front
door down so that the "KITE Killers" could get inside in time to
start their show. Then there were other pranks that posed less of a fire
hazard. Throughout 1983, Dunaway and his staff were anonymously placed on
dozens of mailing lists for magazines and books delivered cash-on-delivery. The
soundtrack for it all was a Beck-written "Ghostbusters" spoof that
became a local hit during Beck's morning show, called "KITE-busters."
"We were the
'good guys' and didn't do any vandalism," says Dunaway, Beck's now retired
former rival. "In 50 years of broadcasting, I have never been in a market
where those kinds of things were done. Who was behind the mischief I cannot
identify, but it was during the time Beck was the morning competition."
In pursuing a
career in Top 40, Beck opted out of a college education. At least, the academic
part of a college education. In the "Animal House"-inspired world of
1980s morning radio, Beck had found a real-world corollary to fraternity high
jinx.
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Beck's one-man zoo
at KZFM held firm against KITE's "Killers." He had won his first
ratings war. By 1985, he was a polished morning DJ in the zoo mold. He had
programming experience and two years' worth of tapes demonstrating
"wacky" morning chops to broadcasters across the nation newly hungry
for them.
One station
looking to modernize was Louisville, Ky.'s WRKA. In mid-1985, the station
tapped Beck -- who at 21 now had eight years of radio experience -- to headline
the station's morning-drive slot. Despite being No. 1 in morning drive four
years running, Beck's new bosses thought it was only a matter of time before
the cultural curve came around to clobber them. The station had reason to
worry. At the time of Beck's arrival, the station's on-air personalities and playlists
were staid bordering on geriatric, as captured in the WRKA slogan,
"Between Rock and the Rocking Chair." Anticipating his future bosses
at Clear Channel and CNN, WRKA saw Beck as the bright new thing capable of
drawing younger listeners. A $70,000 salary made Beck the largest investment in
the station's makeover. As a signing bonus, Beck received a gold Rolex.
Beck's first
full-scale zoo show was known as "Captain Beck and the A-Team." For
four hours every weekday morning, Beck sat in WRKA's small, dimly lighted
studio across from his producer and sidekick Bob Dries. Dries was Beck's Ed
McMahon and Artie Lange, who cackled like a hen every time Beck cracked wise.
"It was Dries' job to punch buttons to launch sound effects, and laugh
like he'd just won the lottery at every single limp Glenn Beck joke,"
remembers a former WRKA colleague.
With Dries across
the console, Beck directed a rotating ensemble cast and wrote or co-wrote daily
gags and skits. Among the show's regular characters was Beck's zoo alter ego,
Clydie Clyde. But Clyde was just one of Beck's unseen radio ventriloquist
dolls. "He was amazing to watch when he was doing his cast of
voices," remembers Kathi Lincoln, Beck's former newsreader.
"Sometimes he'd prerecord different voices and talk back to the tape, or
turn his head side to side while speaking them live on the air. He used to do a
funny 'black guy' character, really over-the-top."
"Black
guy" impersonations were just one sign of the young Beck's racial
hang-ups. Among the few recordings of "Captain Beck and the A-Team"
archived online is a show from February 1986 in which Beck discusses that
night's prime-time television schedule. When the subject turns to Peter
Strauss, an actor known for starring in television's first miniseries, Beck
wryly observes, "They say without [Strauss' early work] the miniseries
'Roots' would never have happened." Clydie Clyde then chimes in with an
exaggerated and ironic, "Oh, darn." The throwaway dig at
"Roots," which chronicled the life of a slave family, wins knowing
chuckles from Beck's co-hosts.
Beck's real
broadcasting innovation during his stay in Kentucky came in the realm of
vicious personal assaults on fellow radio hosts. A frequent target of Beck's in
Louisville was Liz Curtis, obese host of an afternoon advice show on WHAS, a
local AM news-talk station. It was no secret in Louisville that Curtis, whom
Beck had never met and with whom he did not compete for ratings, was
overweight. And Beck never let anyone forget it. For two years, he used "the
big blonde" as fodder for drive-time fat jokes, often employing Godzilla
sound effects to simulate Curtis walking across the city or crushing a rocking
chair. Days before Curtis' marriage, Beck penned a skit featuring a stolen menu
card for the wedding reception. "The caterer says that instead of throwing
rice after the ceremony, they are going to throw hot, buttered popcorn,"
explains Beck's fictional spy.
Despite the
constant goading, Curtis never responded. But being ignored only seemed to fuel
Beck's hunger for a response. As his attacks escalated and grew more unhinged,
a WHAS colleague of Curtis' named Terry Meiners decided to intervene. He
appeared one morning unannounced at Beck's small office, which was filled with
plaques, letters and news clippings -- "a shrine to all that is Glenn
Beck," remembers Meiners. He told Beck to lay off Curtis, suggesting he
instead attack a morning DJ like himself, who could return fire. "Beck
told me, 'Sorry, all's fair in love and war,'" remembers Meiners. "He
continued with the fat jokes, which were exceedingly cruel, pointless, and
aimed at one of the nicest people in radio. Glenn Beck was over-the-top
childish from Day One, a punk who tried to make a name for himself by being
disruptive and vengeful."
Louisville is
where Beck began experimenting with another streak that would become more
pronounced in later years: militaristic patriotism and calls for the bombing of
Muslims.
The birth of Glenn
Beck as Radio Super Patriot can be traced to the morning of April 15, 1986.
This was the morning after Ronald Reagan ordered U.S. warplanes to bomb Moammar
Gadhafi's Tripoli palace in response to the bombing of a Berlin nightclub
frequented by U.S. servicemen.
Beck sounded stoned during the show -- and given
his later claim to have smoked pot every day for 15 years, might have been --
but even then his politics were anything but tie-dyed.
After opening the show
with a prayer and Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA," Beck played
patriotic music through the morning. The only track receiving multiple plays
was a New Wave-ish spoof titled "Qaddafi Sucks."
The song was a huge
hit with listeners, dozens of whom called Beck to tell him how inspired they
were by his patriotism. Caller after caller applauded him for "standing up
for America." When someone argued that Reagan should have dropped more
bombs, Beck agreed. "I personally don't think we did enough," he
says. "We should've went over there [sic] and bombed the hell out of
'em."
What's most
notable about this early version of Glenn Beck as Super Patriot is his near
listlessness. There are none of the fire-breathing, teary-eyed histrionics that
would come to define Beck's future radio and TV persona. Even while offering up
star-spangled red meat, Beck sounds as if he would rather be smacking Liz
Curtis around. When a young male caller suggests kidnapping Libyan agents and
then torturing them by sliding them down razor blades into waiting pools of
alcohol, Beck simply replies, "Thanks for the call. Buh-bye."
Whether Beck was
tired or stoned that day, he was almost certainly depressed. Despite his
creative freedom, local star status and high salary, Beck's mental state was on
a slide.
By his own telling, he was drinking heavily, snorting coke and
entertaining thoughts of suicide. "There was a bridge abutment in
Louisville, Kentucky, that had my name on it," Beck later wrote.
"Every day I prayed for the strength to be able to drive my car at 70 mph
into that bridge abutment. I'm only alive today because (a) I'm too cowardly to
kill myself ... and (b) I'm too stupid."
Beck left
Louisville at the end of 1986 a defeated man. His signature mix of Gadhafi
songs, fat jokes and racial impersonations had made waves, but failed to
produce numbers. With Beck at the helm during morning drive, WRKA slipped to
third in the market. He was fired and the station brought its youth experiment
to an end. As Beck and his wife packed their bags for Phoenix in early 1987,
WRKA switched to an oldies format.
- - - - - - - - -
- - -
Beck was hired
once again as a strategic youth injection. This time the channel in need of
fresh energy was the Phoenix Top 40 powerhouse KOY FM, known as Y95. The
station brought in Beck to fill the morning shoes of a middle-aged DJ named
Bill Heywood, whose mellow persona and long career made him a Phoenix
institution, but one out of step with the times. Heywood may have interviewed
everyone from JFK to Sinatra, but he lacked the zany chops needed to keep up
with Beck's old friend from D.C. Bruce Kelly, then hosting the market's leading
morning show on rival station KZZP. As ever, Kelly was a flamboyant master of
publicity stunts as well as a top-rated morning jock. Since parting ways with
Beck in D.C., he had completed the Boston Marathon on a custom pogo stick and
convinced John McCain to dive into a pool of chocolate. To compete with Kelly,
Y95 needed someone who could make a lot of noise. Beck was their man.
At first, Kelly
was happy to have his old friend in the same town. "My wife and I were
excited when Glenn and Claire told us they were moving to Phoenix," says
Kelly. But these warm feelings didn't last long. Something had changed in Beck.
In Phoenix, Beck became known for an outsize and mischievous ego -- a
reputation that would dog him for the rest of his Top 40 career. This new Beck
was symbolized by the cars that stocked the garage of his Phoenix ranch house:
a navy blue Cadillac, and that symbol of '80s excess, a DeLorean.
The station
partnered Beck with a 26-year-old Arizona native named Tim Hattrick. More
relaxed by nature than Beck, Hattrick expected that the two would share duties
on the show as partners. But Beck had other ideas. His first day in the studio,
Beck called Hattrick into his office and laid down the law. "I remember
Beck sat me down and pulled out a notepad on which he had drawn a planet being
orbited by satellites," says Hattrick. "On the big planet, Glenn
wrote 'Me.' Then he pointed to the orbiting satellites and wrote names on them,
such as 'Tim,' 'News,' and 'Clydie Clyde.' I'll never forget Beck telling me I
was a satellite. He was younger than me but carried himself like he was 35 or
40."
Dispelling any
doubts about the station's new direction, Y95 also rented a mascot monkey,
named Zippy the Chimp. Station managers flew Beck and Hattrick to New York,
where they watched Scott Shannon run his zoo at Z100. Back in Phoenix, the
Beck-Hattrick show was announced in a local TV ad
that marks the 23-year-old Beck's television debut. In the 30-second spot, Beck appears
puffy-faced in a brown leather jacket. Next to him is the slimmer Hattrick in a
satin Phoenix Suns warmer. The two young DJs are sitting in the studio stirring
each other's coffee when an announcer's voice declares: "The new Y95
morning zookeepers -- Glenn Beck and Tim Hattrick!"
Beck: "We
told our bosses right upfront, 'We don't need gimmicks to sell the new
Y95."
Hattrick:
"We've got a better mix of music, great DJs who don't yak too much --
"
Beck: "Plenty
of easy contests for you to win lots of free money -- "
Hattrick:
"Plus more continuous music, Y95 Airborne traffic report, and special
guests!"
Beck: "With
all that, who needs gimmicks?"
As Beck delivers
this last line, balloons and cash fall from the ceiling, model airplanes zip
by, and a loud cuckoo clock goes off, sight unseen. Zippy the Chimp jumps onto
the table wearing a yellow "Y Morning Zoo" T-shirt. The ad summarizes
in 30 seconds most of what you need to know about the first 15 years of Beck's
radio career.
Beck never grew
close to Hattrick, who thought his new partner was talented but full of himself
and incapable of thinking of anything but radio and ratings. "Beck lived,
ate, drank and breathed radio," says Hattrick, who still works as a DJ in
Phoenix. "It was impossible to talk to him about anything without
reference to how to bring it into the show. I never once saw any evidence that
he could turn it off. In that sense he was a one-dimensional person. But he was
great at being a grandstanding, pompous idiot and shaking the brushes for
attention."
Beck and Hattrick
began their show far behind Kelly's market-leading show on KZZP. As they
continued to get clobbered, Beck grew obsessed with getting his name on the
leading station. His first attempt to get Kelly to mention him on the air came
shortly after his arrival. "I walked out to get the paper one Saturday
morning," remembers Kelly. "When I turned around, I saw that my entire
house was covered in Y95 bumper stickers. The windows, the garage doors, the
locks -- everything. But I refused to mention Beck's name on the air, which
drove him nuts."
Beck kept trying.
When KZZP's music director held his marriage at a Phoenix church, Beck loaded
up Y95's two Jeeps with boxes of bumper stickers and drove to the ceremony. As
the service was coming to a close, Beck and his team ran crouching from car to
car, slapping bumper stickers on anything with a fender. The service ended
while Beck was running amok, and the KZZP morning team appeared just in time to
see Beck jump into his getaway car. "Beck saw me standing in the way of
the exit and gunned right for me. I threw a landscaping rock on his windshield
and blocked him," says Kelly. When his old friend demanded he roll down
the window, Beck reluctantly obliged. Kelly then unloaded a mouthful of spit in
his face.
"Glenn Beck
was the king of dirty tricks," says Guy Zapoleon, KZZP's program director.
"It may seem mild in retrospect, but at the time that wedding prank was
nasty and over the line. Beck was always desperate for ratings and
attention."
The animosity
between Beck and Kelly continued to deepen. When Beck and Hattrick produced a
local version of Orson Welles' "War of the Worlds" for Halloween -- a
recurring motif in Beck's life and career -- Kelly told a local reporter that
the bit was a stupid rip-off of a syndicated gag. The slight outraged Beck, who
got his revenge with what may rank as one of the cruelest bits in the history
of morning radio.
"A couple days after Kelly's wife, Terry, had a
miscarriage, Beck called her live on the air and says, 'We hear you had a
miscarriage,' " remembers Brad Miller, a former Y95 DJ and Clear Channel
programmer. "When Terry said, 'Yes,' Beck proceeded to joke about how
Bruce [Kelly] apparently can't do anything right -- about he can't even have a
baby."
"It was low
class," says Miller, now president of Open Stream Broadcasting.
"There are certain places you just don't go."
"Beck turned
Y95 into a guerrilla station," says Kelly. "It was an example of the
zoo thing getting out of control. It became just about pissing people off, part
of the culture shift that gave us 'Jackass.'" Among those who were
appalled by Beck's prank call was Beck's own wife, Claire, who had been friends
with Kelly's wife since the two worked together at WPGC.
Their friendship
soured, Beck continued with the stunts, some of which won the competition's
begrudging admiration. The most elaborate and successful of these neatly throws
a double-spotlight on both the juvenile nature of morning radio competition and
the culture of pop cheese in which Beck marinated for 20 years.
Toward the end of
Beck's time in Phoenix, KZZP sponsored a free Richard Marx concert at the Tempe
El Diablo stadium in downtown Phoenix. Marx was at the time riding high on a
triple-platinum album, and the show was a monster publicity coup for Beck's
rival. But Beck was in no mood to let KZZP bask in the concert's glow without a
fight. He and Hattrick arrived at the stadium early on the night of the show
and gave the sound technician $500 to play a prerecorded Y95 promo moments
before KZZP's Bruce Kelly was scheduled to announce the show. As an audience of
nearly 10,000 waited for the show to begin, the KZZP mics were cut and Beck's voice
suddenly boomed out of the stadium's sound system: "The Y95 Zoo team is
proud to present … Richard Marx!" As soon as he heard his name, an
oblivious Marx walked onto the stage and began to play. As the KZZP crew stood
stunned offstage, scattered Y95 agents popped up and began throwing "Y95
Zoo" T-shirts in every direction to a cheering crowd.
"It was
brilliant," remembers Kelly, who gave Beck his first lessons in the art of
publicity. "Totally brilliant. He nailed us."
In the winter of
1987, downtown Phoenix went without holiday decorations because of budget
problems. Y95 was asked by the mayor to lead a fundraising effort to replace
them. Beck and Hattrick came up with this idea to "steal" decorations
from the City of Scottsdale. In the process, the pair was arrested. "It
didn't quite go as planned, but it resulted in a lot of news coverage and
contributed to a successful fundraiser," says Mike Horne, the station's
general manager.
The stunt was a
textbook case of media marketing 101: Attention is good; controversy is better.
Outrage is the gift that keeps on giving. By his mid-20s, Beck had become a
canny and mature publicity hound. This is seen most clearly in Beck's first
national publicity coup. In September 1988, Beck and Hattrick invited Jessica Hahn
onto the show. That month Playboy was featuring a pictorial of the former
church secretary, who had become famous when televangelist Jim Bakker admitted
to his affair with her.
"That
evening, we took Jessica out to dinner," remembers Mike Horne. "I got
up to go to the men's room and quickly found myself surrounded at the urinal by
Glenn and Tim, who began lobbying me to hire Jessica as a permanent fixture of
the morning show. They negotiated the deal, which was a rental car, an
apartment and $2,000 a month."
One is reminded of
P.T. Barnum's famous arrangement with his longtime prize midget, Tom Thumb, who
received $4 a week plus board. And indeed Beck's showman instincts were worthy
of Barnum: The hiring of Hahn as the zoo team's "prize-and-weather bunny"
became an international story. Johnny Carson and David Letterman joked about
it, editorial writers debated it, and as a result Y95 received a much-needed
ratings jolt. When People magazine visited the station looking for a quote,
Beck described Hahn's radio debut as "awesome" and explained that she
filled the void of a "prize bunny for our zoo." The trio was
short-lived, however. After a few weeks on the job, Hahn asked to be
transferred to a nighttime slot.
Toward the end of
his time in Phoenix, Beck's wife, Claire, gave birth to a daughter. As with the
rest of his life, Beck had incorporated his wife's pregnancy into his radio
show. He asked listeners to guess when his wife would go into labor and the sex
of the child. When Beck came back on the air after the birth, he announced that
the delivery had been problematic and that there would be no more games around
the subject. The baby girl had suffered from a series of strokes at birth
resulting in cerebral palsy. Beck named her Mary, after his mother.
"After the
public buildup about the baby, it was all very awkward and sad," remembers
Hattrick. "I thought it was a good lesson in being careful about personal
issues on the air."
Beck would later
make his national name by turning that lesson on its head. But not yet. Shortly
after the birth of his daughter, Beck resigned from Y95 to accept a job in
Houston. Another also-ran Top 40 station needed a buzz-generator. Beck and his
young family headed east, back to Texas.
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- - -
Beck arrived in
Houston early in 1989. After years of moving forward professionally, the oil
city would prove to be his Waterloo. Fueled by booze and cocaine, Beck would
produce some of the worst radio of his life and tarnish his reputation in what
one former colleague calls an "epic meltdown."
In a reprise of
Phoenix, a No. 2 Top 40 station had hired him to compete with the market's
leading station. His new employer, KRBE, aka Power 104, brought him on board at
a salary well above that usually paid by its parent company, Susquehanna.
"There was a
lot expected of him," remembers his old program director Gary Wheeler.
Beck's salary, said to be around $300,000, reflected the scale of his task,
which was something like the morning radio equivalent of a kamikaze mission.
Beck was put up against KKBQ's "Q-Zoo," hosted by nationally
syndicated zoo superstar John Lander. The mismatch was so great that nobody
expected Beck to cut deeply into Lander's royal ratings. It was enough that he
generate buzz while going down in sacrificial flames.
"KRBE brought
Beck in to make some noise and to create public awareness through
promotions," says Ed Shane, a Houston-based radio consultant. "They
just wanted Beck to be Beck, because John Lander had cornered the zoo
market."
For the first time
in four years, Beck was working without a supporting cast. He would succeed or
fail on the strength of his own personality and his box of cartoon voices,
especially Clydie Clyde. Alone in the studio, he struggled from the start.
Defined by regular back-and-forth with Clydie Clyde, the show fell flat with
listeners and industry pros. Guy Zapoleon, who as a program director competed
with Beck in Phoenix and Houston, remembers marveling at how bad Beck sounded.
"It was horrible," says Zapoleon. "It was just Beck and Clyde
talking to each other. No one could believe it was the same guy as in
Phoenix."
Beck doesn't argue
with this assessment. "It was the worst time in my broadcasting career,
and I wish people would stop bringing it up," Beck told the Houston
Chronicle. "It's the most embarrassing thing I ever did on radio. If I
could make everybody forget about my time in Houston, it would be good."
"Glenn took
risks and was able to generate talk, but he never took off in ratings,"
says Wheeler, Beck's program director. "The thinking at the time was Glenn
was misplaced as a Top 40 morning host. He was not very hip and tended to sway
in content toward things that might appeal to an older or non-music
listener."
Among the lame
stunts that Beck would like everyone to forget is his "breakfast
meat" moment. On his first show, Clydie Clyde asked listeners to compete
for cash prizes by mailing a slab of breakfast meat and a raw egg to the studio
in standard issue envelopes. As Beck explained at the time to a Houston
Chronicle reporter: "See, Wednesday was our first day and before that we
had been running around like chickens with our heads cut off around here. And I
had mentioned at one point that I wanted to meet the listeners at local malls.
But Clyde took it in a completely different direction."
It wasn't just
Beck who spoke to Clydie Clyde as if he were real. His conversations with the
Muppet-voiced creature were so seamless and regular that listeners showed up at
promotional events asking to meet the character. "People would arrive and
ask, 'Where's Clyde?'" remembers Mark Schecterle, KRBE's marketing
director. "We'd always tell them Clyde just left the building, but would
be at the next event. Beck was a creative, totally nonpolitical disc jockey
back then."
That judgment
depends on how you define "nonpolitical." It was in Houston, whose
adopted son George H.W. Bush was about to become president, that something
began stirring in Beck hinting of ambitions that could not be contained on the
platform of local FM radio.
In Kentucky,
Beck's idea of supporting the military had been looping the words "Gadhafi
Sucks" over a Duran Duran beat. Three years later, just a month into his
new solo gig, Beck was playing phone tag with A-list publicists in New York and
Los Angeles, laying the groundwork for a military-themed patriotic
extravaganza. There was nothing zoo about it. It was an ode to Bob Hope by way
of Casey Kasem.
The idea was grand
in scope and classical in inspiration. During one week in February of 1989,
Beck broadcast his morning show from the deck of the USS Theodore Roosevelt, an
aircraft carrier patrolling the Mediterranean off the Libyan coast. After
receiving clearance from the 6th Fleet, Beck began lining up prerecorded
celebrity greetings and scheduled phone-in interviews with a dozen celebrities,
which he then wove into the morning show, along with interviews with the
Roosevelt's crew. Beck's handpicked celebrity guest list presents a family snapshot
of 1980s American pop culture. Beck's broadcasts from sea included voice cameos
by musicians Jon Bon Jovi, Eddie Money, LaToya Jackson, Joan Jett and Cheap
Trick; actors Martin Landau, Wil Wheaton, Kathleen Turner, Brooke Shields,
Lesley Ann Warren and Tina Yothers; and icons Bob Hope, Mickey Mouse, Pat Sajak
and Ronald Reagan.
Beck's
presentation, which hinted at his 2003 "Rallies for America," didn't
stop there. He also hand-delivered thousands of homemade cookies and a giant
white sneaker signed by thousands of Houstonites at a local mall. As Beck
described it to a local reporter, the event was meant as "a gift from the
people of Houston to the 6th Fleet to say, 'thanks for being there.'"
No doubt the crew
of the Roosevelt appreciated the free morning entertainment. The same could not
be said for Houston's radio audience. Not even Ronald Reagan and Tina Yothers
could generate enough excitement around Beck's show to justify his enormous
salary. "Radio is about numbers, and Beck didn't produce them," says
Schecterle, Beck's KRBE colleague. "So they fired him."
It was not an
amicable split. Beck had been working under a multiyear contract and fought
hard for the maximum severance. "He spent his last weeks in Houston
battling on the payout with the corporate programmer," says Wheeler. The
battle was so drawn out it caught the attention of potential employers in the
clubby world of Top 40 radio. According to a veteran morning radio hand, word
spread that Beck was hard to work with and prone to wild behavioral swings. In
industry terms, he had become "damaged goods." He was still only
26.
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