Glenn Beck heard a squeaking noise so he raised his lantern a little higher and scanned the damp basement of his studios in New York City.
The old building was large and now almost empty, only a few gentle snores inside the cubicles upstairs let it be known he wasn't entirely alone. By some force of treachery the Glenn Beck folks upstairs said they saw Donald Trump sneaking about their building with a candle but they had lost sight of him. Glenn Beck has just flown into town on his private jet and by slim chance he could catch the bastard Trump red handed. It had been reported that Donald Trump was going to buy up the Glenn Beck Studio's in New York City and dump Glenn Beck on the streets and tear down the building and replace it with a free public swimming pool and tennis courts.
Glen Beck flew quickly from Texas and brought along his almost famous "Rat Catcher Lantern" that he bought off Amazon just last year. It didn't take batteries as it still burned whale oil even though it was expensive and hard to find except from Japan.
Oddly enough Glenn Beck told his security detail to stay upstairs and not to wake everybody up as he was going down into the basement to find that damn Trump. He thought about bringing his lumber jack ax but he decided on the polished piece of steel pipe he carried in this briefcase. Glenn always felt he was indestructible but he still slipped in his little six shot pistol inside his coat pocket because Donald Trump was from New York City after all and couldn't be trusted, day or night.
Glenn Beck saw something glittering and he thought it was the candle that Donald Trump was carrying around but, it was the old Mercury Radio Arts sign that fell off the building last summer. Looking like a twisted memory the sign just laid there in the basement like some old ruin or another bad idea buried in the basement.
Glenn roamed the massive water soaked basement for several long minutes carrying his "Rat Catcher Lantern" when he heard the alarms upstairs sounding their warning. His simple and safe alarm system worked great as his security watchmen were screaming down the basement stairs for Glenn Beck to come up, it was an emergency.
A single police officer and his security watchmen were standing at the top of the stairs shining their powerful flashlights down the basement stairway. His security man confirmed that they had a prisoner and it sure as hell looked like Donald Trump, the New York City estate and business tycoon.
By the time Glenn Back got back to the main level he needed some medical aid as he had exerted himself and had been injured. The police cars were now surrounding the building and the rescue men were working on Glenn with oxygen and bandages when the fire alarm went off and the eavesdropping simply safe sensors in the basement alerted everybody that the fire was deep in the basement.
The Glenn Beck team woke up as they had volunteered to be firemen as part of their jobs but they refused to enter the smoke filled basement. Glenn had bought long garden hoses from the hardware store, water buckets, two good fire axes and the water cistern in the basement was almost full, what was the problem.
Glenn pulled up his corduroy trousers and tried to get up but the medics pushed him back down as the smoke was starting to clog the main office areas that were now mostly deserted as the gold crazed Beck employees booked it to the front door.
The police reported that thousands of people were now outside watching the flames come from the basement windows. The New York firefighters were stuck in traffic but their devotion was a little slower because of Bill De Blasio and other known socialist bastards.
But from every class of citizen, good men and women including bankers and storekeepers grabbed water buckets and filled them from toilets and bathroom sinks. Glenn had never seen any better volunteers than he was watching that very moment in time.
The gamblers from Wall Street, the gunslingers from the unions, the unemployed brawlers from the major T.V. networks and even illegal alien gang ruffians were carrying buckets of water downstairs to fight the flames of destruction.
These dubious bastards were going to save Glenn Beck and all those rogues brought their friends to fight the fire known as The Blaze in the New York Times.
But the ending was tragic because that rich bastard Donald Trump with the wind blowing his hair with all the political clout in the world was sitting outside a restaurant next door buying coffee and doughnuts for every man or woman that helped put out the flames.
He was a charming devil and Glenn Beck hated his damn guts but the shouting of the Trump name made Glenn beck stop and listen to the joking, laughing and rough housing in good fun when the flames were reduced to just a floating cloud of smoke.
Glenn Beck had hung his "Rat Catcher Lantern" on a nail downstairs and defiant to the end and befitting his dangerous assignment of catching Donald Trump in the basement he had sat down to adjust his cowboy boots when the police and watchmen had called him back to the basement entrance.
The cops took Glenn Beck over to the police car and there sat Ted Cruz in a double breasted flannel red shirt with black buttons and a wide leather belt holding up his pants a little bit too high off the floor.
Bearing down on Ted Cruz the cops picked up Ted Cruz and pulled him out of the police car and told Glenn Beck that had caught the Latino coming out of the Glenn Beck basement on the other side of the building. "You know how they are Mr. Beck, they sneak in and out of countries and even basements."
"It was never Donald Trump Mr. Beck" the police captain looked and pointed across the street at the crowd of people surrounding Mr. Trump which also including many men from the police and fire departments.
Defiant and jaunty Ted Cruz defended his actions as he needed a place to sleep and as an opportunist, scoundrel and adventurer like Glenn Beck he really didn't see why all the fuss. The rat was Ted Cruz and the defender of prosperity and property was Donald Trump and it was just about too much. Glenn Beck like some big ugly white gull was circling over South Carolina, New Hampshire and Nevada promoting Ted Cruz as the honest man but he was as shallow as a teacup.
The political Ted Cruz was just another fortune hunter hiding in a basement, keeping his secrets, plotting their future wealth. Donald Trump had sent over one of his boys and invited Glenn Beck to join him and enjoy a freshly butchered bear steak cooked rare as friendship and maybe some cabbage and crow for Glenn Beck as a side dish.
Glenn Beck watched Mr. Trumps chef use his butcher knife like the expert he was and toss the bear steak on the open grill behind the restaurant, red and juicy and was guaranteed sweet by the Donald himself.
Dignified men tiptoed past Donald Trump as they just wanted to see the man that would become president of the United States and many wondered who in the world was the man with him, covered in black sinking further into the leather chair trying to avoid their view.
One guy whispered "That's Glenn Beck"
The other man said;
Who?
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